A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Pool...
Image credit: Gabriel Robleo on Flickr
Since beginning my battle of the bulge I have avoided situations that involved me wearing a bathing suit like the plague. At times there were medical reasons that kept me away (one day I'll tell you of the horrible skin condition I dealt with for two years) but for the most part I banished myself. I would go to the beach or pool but purposely not wear my suit or wear a suit but stayed safely guarded by a cover-up or shorts and tee. I even used the age old excuse used by black women the world over "I don't want to get my hair wet".
Not even seeing women who were much bigger than I am walking around in swimwear...two piece suits at that did not give me the feeling of "if they can do it, I can do it". It just wasn't happening. I (in my own mind) was not fit for public viewing.
Today was somehow different. Maybe it was because I was practically chasing an eager 4 year old and had to disrobe quickly to be in the pool to aid her swimming efforts. Maybe it was the heat. I'm not sure but about an hour into our afternoon as I was taking pictures and videos of the kids, it dawned on me that I was standing on the deck of our neighborhood pool, in my bathing suit with NO cover-up or shorts on...and I was fine! Not one ounce of my normal "I look/feel like a beached whale" syndrome! I was completely in shock! Then completely proud.
Could I possibly be coming into finally accepting my body? Or at least knowing that it is a work in progress and this time last year I was 20 pounds heavier? Could be...could be. It was a nice feeling...a relieved feeling. Did I take a picture? Uh...baby steps people...let's not get ahead of ourselves!
8 comments:
GOOD FOR YOU GIRL!!!! Whoo hoo! I think we are all way harder on ourselves than we should be.
That's awesome!! You SHOULD be proud of yourself. Sometimes we're our own worst critics and point out flaws that other people wouldn't have notice otherwise.
I agree, be proud of yourself, whether you are smaller or bigger than you think. We were all made different, on the inside and out. Love who you are, and embrace it. If anybody has anything to say, tell them to come and see me.
Be your Sensual Diva and remember you are one HOT MAMA!!!!
I so know what you mean. It's been a long time since I have been in the pool due my skin problems as well. But this year I'm actually looking forward to wearing one. I have finally accepted my body and found out I lost 3 lbs. Yay!!!!!
Have you ever been to Shape of a Mother or Operation Beautiful?
Good for you! I have often felt this way. But, this year I was determined that I was going to have fun and not worry about what other people thought. I'm sure a lot of people can relate to your story!
Thanks for stopping by my place, SITSta!
Good for you! I hate the way I feel in a swimsuit!
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