Forehead Smack Fridays: Wee Wees and Vajayjays
I have a bit of a dilemma. Why I am thinking about this now I will never know! I guess it is because I sort of want to be prepared and not blindsided like most parents usually are when these kinds of questions come up. The question is this...what names to tell my children to call girl parts and boy parts? Look at me! I can't even say the real names myself! I am dreading the day when my almost five-year-old daughter asks me what the real name of her "girl part" or her brother's "boy part" is. Currently it is "bottom"...just plain and simple "bottom". Front, back, girl, boy...it's all "bottom". That seems to be working for the moment.
I have toyed with the cutesy names that are floating out there...wee wee, vajayjay, peeter, pee pee, boom boom (we used that one for a while before it all became a bottom), hoohah, etc. But really, what is so wrong with the real names?
It's not that I am completely opposed to telling her...telling them both... that Kennedy has a vagina and Jackson has a penis but it is the fear that either one or both of those words will be uttered in a public place at a loud octave at the most inappropriate time is basically what I fear most. Or that Kennedy will go on a "who's got a penis and who's got a vagina" rampage (i.e. "Mommy do dogs have a penis or a vagina? Mommy does a mailbox have a penis or a vagina?)
My dear friend Wifey has a book at her house...a children's book that answers the question "Where did I come from" in a way that little kid can comprehend. It talks about the penis and the vagina (as well as what they do). I thought about borrowing it but that book opens up a whole other can of worms that I truly am not ready to deal with! Obviously since I cant deal with wee wees and vajayjays by themselves!!
I do realize that I am probably being really neurotic about this and I should be the one to tell my daughter before she hears it in the Kindergarten school yard, but I really am dreading the conversation. I am really glad that she has not asked yet. So my other dilemma...do I bring it up or let it ride until she asks me? UGH! Parenting is so fricken hard! (insert forehead smack here)
12 comments:
I have a girl and 2 boys. My husband and I explained the proper names of their body parts before they were 5. Shockingly enough, I can honestly say there's never been an "incident" of them yelling it out in public. LOL! The strange thing is, even though they know the correct names they still call them "private parts".
It's important to have the talk about body parts early because you want them to have control of their bodies and to know what's right and wrong. I used their swimsuits to teach them about appropriate and inappropriate touch which, surprisingly, made it easier to talk about the correct names of the body parts. (ie. swimsuits cover the parts of their bodies that no one is allowed to touch)
Give us an update on how it turns out. BTW, I think I have that same book your friend has and what's really scary is when you have to explain how the baby gets in mommy's tummy. LOL! Parenting is NOT for whimps!
Thanks, Kendra! The swimsuit idea is cool! Your comment was very insightful. I have been asked how Jackson got in my tummy...I told her he just "grew" there! LOL!
haha i don't think it matters because I've always used the "proper" terms and my sons still talk about their "peanuts" lol
My girls are 12 & 14 and I think we still it their "private parts". they know the real term but we all think it sounds too weird. Strangely even though William is only 15 months old and he has no clue, I call his thing a winkie or penis. Not sure why it seemed so much easier this time around with a boy. You are so funny with all your names of the "privacies" as Dwayne calls it! lol!
Truthfully Ella's not even two and she's learning vagina and bum as her private part names. I have decided I don't care if she says them out in public. I had a friend who's daughter came home @ 7 yrs old with the knowledge that babies came from your thigh, and she was serious because her friend @ school told her. We want our daughter to be knowledgable with the truth, not made up "truths" because we are too uncomfortable to tell her.
Question: would you be less horrified if Kennedy said vajayjay in public at a high octave, as opposed to vagina? I think it's not only okay, but imperative that our daughters (and sons) know the names of their private parts. I feel that it's disempowering to relegate a perfectly normal part of a child's body to namelessness. Plus, I think it heightens the curiosity about vaginas and penises when we pretend they aren't natural parts just like our arms, legs, head, nose, etc. My two cents (granted, I'm no expert, just a regulah ole Mama) is to tell Kennedy and Jackson about their entire bodies, including their private parts.
...sorry, but one last thing :) Funny story (at least I think so!). I was standing in line at the grocery store with my 2 daughters (ages 5 and 3), when my 3-year-old. Sage, struck up a conversation with a little girl who looked to be about 6. Sage started off by saying, "that's a beautiful skirt!", to which the girl responded, "yeah, and that's a beautiful purse" (Sage likes to carry a purse, go figure!). Anyhoo, they went back and forth complimenting each other's attire for a while, and at one point, the little girl said to Sage, "you have a beautiful nose." Sage responded, "yep, all of me is beautiful, my nose, my eyes, my hands...(eventually), my bottom, my vagina..." Bwahaha! The poor little girl looked horrified, and her dad promptly hurried her off to the suddently urgent task of bagging their groceries to speed out of the store!
Sorry, there's no moral to the story or anything, except that I didn't die of horror, and Sage thought it was weird that the girl sped off. I didn't "correct" her for saying vagina, but I did remind her that it is a private part that is not to be discussed with anyone but mommy and daddy. I don't think that man and his daughter will be shopping at that store again :)
As I was reading this post, I was thinking about Wifey too! So funny that she has this book in her house.
Honestly, you are a much wiser woman than me, CC, since you are thinking about these questions now, while your kids are still so young. When the time comes for me to answer these questions, I will likely say, go ask your father.
:)
-Francesca
Oh yes. I hate it when topics like these blindside you.
We used to use the nicknames when my daughter was younger, but now we just use regular old medical terms. Even if I stutter a bit saying them. :)
Very good question. I think I'm going to stick with the real names. We use the real names with our 13 year old and I think I will do the same with my 11 month old.
I think you should bring it up. But what do I know? I'm just an auntie. If they ask me I'm deferring to the parents. Sorry...
Tell 'em, girl, tell 'em! Don't be scared! I'll let you borrow my book. You can do it!
Winks & Smiles,
Wifey
Post a Comment