Detours on Our Journey

Spring seems to be finally here… at least calendar-wise…though I think the weather may be a bit confused. Nevertheless it is the time of renewal…as in my last post about emerging from our cocoons into the authentic butterflies… but it is also a time of reflection or re-evaluation. As your new inspired life is taking shape, you may find yourself at a fork in the road of your path to authenticity. You ask yourself what now? What does life have in store for me?

You think you are heading in one direction and something comes up… a detour…and you wonder what it means for your journey… especially if it is a good detour…or maybe a detour that you may have thought about but never entertained or figured that now was the time to take that route. And now low and behold, you are practically forced in that direction! That may bring you to question the original path and it's validity to your journey.

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The Authentic Life Cycle

My 3yr old daughter Kennedy and her preschool class are doing a unit on birds and bugs and within that the life cycle of the butterfly...You know, how a caterpillar creates a cocoon and stays there until it emerges as a butterfly. It made me think about how we come into our own authenticity. It is pretty much like that insect life cycle.

At the beginning of your journey…actually before you make the decision to live authentically… you are mundanely going about your daily life like a caterpillar. However, inside you there is a longing for something better, something greater, so you begin to search. You gather information… you take classes, read books, hire a life coach (hint, hint)… just as the caterpillar begins to gather and stuff herself with food before she prepares her cocoon. You use what inspires your imagination, your desires and dreams, and the information you have gathered to build your own cocoon. Just as the caterpillar begins her metamorphosis inside the cocoon… so do you. Working in your journal, discovering things about yourself, trying new things…you are in your cocoon of inspiration thinking an growing authentically. Just as the caterpillar does when she is ready, you also emerge from your cocoon a beautiful authentic butterfly. You move about the world in color and light. People smile when the see you and want to be touched by your grace. I don’t want to by any means suggest that your life will be as carefree as a butterfly's life…for all we know they have hectic lives as well. But you have come out of the shell of your former life with a renewed sense of purpose, a renewed sense of self, and new way of looking at your world and everything in it.

So as you are inching along as a caterpillar preparing your authentic cocoon…think about the kind of "butterfly" you want to be. Stock your cocoon with items that support and inspire you to emerge as majestic as the monarch or as exotic as the blue morpho… okay, so I have watched too many episodes of Go Diego Go… but I think you get the picture!

I Am Not Immune!

I am not immune to negative feelings and negative thoughts just because I am a Life Coach! I am still very much a work in progress! I can still have self-doubt and days that I am not happy with my looks. I am human, after all. I can be disappointed that something did not go my way. I can be afraid to try something new. I can be jealous that something I wanted fell into the hands of someone else. The trick is to feel it...and then let it go! Do these things have an impact on the whole of my life? Not really. I always have to remember that set-backs are a part of life and they always happen for a reason. They happen to remind you that you are not in control, God is. The universe is. Whatever "Higher Power" you believe in is in control. Set-backs happen in order for something that is truly meant for you to occur... as in when one door closes another opens, right? Sometimes disappointments happen to save you from making an even bigger mistake. It is easier said than done. As I write this, I remember where I have had difficulty with it. I am thinking of things that I want or have wanted that I may or may not get and all I find myself focusing on is the "may not".

Like I said, being aware and living authentically does not make me immune to these feelings. I am doing the right thing with them. I am exploring them. I am giving myself the human right of feeling them. What I am not doing is allowing these feelings to consume me...or at least trying not to. I am not blaming others. I am holding on to my faith that all is going according to the plan that has been crafted specifically for me. I must not question it. There are reasons for things being the way they are and one day I will know why. I have to also remember the many ways in which I have already been blessed and know that the blessings will continue to come. I am not immune... but I am aware and very thankful for clarity and peace of mind.

Traditional Boundaries

We are in Holiday Hullabaloo and as you are running around like a crazy woman buying presents, decorating, and shopping for that big family dinner or holiday party… you may find yourself thinking "whose idea was this anyway"! The yearly traditions stay the same but do you? Setting boundaries can apply to many aspects of your life but specifically setting boundaries during this holiday season. Looking at what is going on in your life at this moment against the given agenda. There are bound to be things that worked for you last year that do not work for you this year. You are looking at the impending itinerary, shopping list, etc. and thinking this year I cant do X but mom or grandma or the inlaws or somebody will be angry if I don’t. This is where setting your boundaries comes in. Setting boundaries in essence is compromise but in your favor.

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Be Thankful for the Little Things

It's Thanksgiving week and as we are hustling about preparing for our big meals or getting ready to shop til we drop, we may take second to think about what we are thankful for. This week, let's focus on the little things we may not always remember to be thankful for. We are always sure to be openly and vocally thankful for our families and for our health, the fact that we are alive and have food and shelter…etc. And we of course should be grateful. But I am talking about the tiny things that we take for granted but still should be celebrated. For instance, your teenager may have taken out the trash without having to be asked this week. When you take that sigh of relief and say "Oh thank goodness"… really mean it. Really and truly be thankful for that little moment of joy.

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Look at The Lesson

It's wonderful when you can see mistakes as building blocks for future success and not as mini-failures. I was reflecting on some recent business decisions and though the were very good ideas, the timing of their execution may not have been wise. The "old me" would wallow in regret of the mistake or bad judgement call and beat myself up over it. But instead, I subconsciously find myself looking at the lesson and even the blessing received from it! A break-thru! An AH-HA, if you will. I feel myself evolving into the person I want to be...the real me! Now that I am getting my mind right, I sincerely hope my body will follow!

Embracing Change

Coming to the idea of living an authentic life is a hard process. It is scary. It is on the list of the unknown things that you have fear and anxiety about. What makes us so scared is the thought of facing our true selves and what it is we really want. It sounds as if we should be happy about coming to that realization. So why do most of us fear it? Because what if the things we truly want in life are completely opposite of the life we are currently living? (Gasp!) Wouldn’t that just upset the perfect little apple cart of your life? We couldn’t bear to embrace CHANGE… even if it is change for the better! Our next fear is "what will everyone think?" We are afraid the people in our lives will not accept our new outlook and approach to our lives. What's worse, we may even be afraid of their acceptance! Isn't it funny how we consciously fear the negative and subconsciously fear the positive? What we also fear is the "work" involved in making the change. It is hard work getting real with yourself. It is happy at times and sad at times but every break-through is a step closer to knowing who you really are. What we can come to accept when we choose an authentic life is that the changes we will experience will be gradual changes…or at least they can be gradual. Alterations to just a couple of your activities and attitude can go a long way in the journey. As you become more aware and in tune with your true self, the changes will be easier to make.

Flush Your Pity Pot!

Spring is the time of renewal and rebirth. I know that first hand as I am in the final few weeks of pregnancy. But as I prepare for our new arrival, I am also preparing for change. Not just change in my family and household but also a change in me. Upon delivery of my son, I will undoubtedly experience new feelings that will run the gamut of happy, scared, exhausted, frustrated, sad and everything in between. I'm sure there will be times when I am not feeling so enriched and inspired. As you contemplate your own path to living an inspired life, you could also experience the same feelings.

I heard a saying once… It's okay to sit on your pity pot every once in a while as long as you remember to flush when you're done! A very humorous statement but powerful nonetheless. The path to authenticity is a bumpy road. You are not going to feel warm and fuzzy every day. There are going to be moments of uncertainty and self-doubt. Those feelings are valid. You are human. Allow yourself to feel those emotions. Explore them. See if you can discover where they came from. This is awareness. Awareness is an important part of learning who your true authentic self is. Once you have that moment with your fears and negative emotions, get off that pity pot and flush! Counteract those negative thoughts with loving and positive words, affirmative statements about yourself and/or the situation at hand. Those bad things are now down the drain and you are moving on!

You Can Lead a Horse to Water...

Sharing Your New Found Authenticity
When you make the conscious decision to live your true authentic life, you suddenly become clear and completely aware of yourself and your surroundings. All of the goodness (and the badness) is revealed to you in a new and fascinating way. And you love it. Unfortunately there will be people in your life who just don’t get it. They may think you have turned into a complete weirdo because things that you used to tolerate you no longer care to. Or you have decided to take up a hobby that nobody ever heard you mention you were interested in. Or maybe you are "talking" differently… meaning your word choices are different, you are speaking more lovingly, forgivingly, calmly. Maybe you have decided to give up something you have always done in order to further balance your life. Others don’t get it largely because they are where you used to be… not living their true self. You will be tempted to enlighten them. You may act on your temptation which (my guess is) can and may leave you both infuriated. In our new infinite wisdom of living our inspired and enriched authentic lives, we have to remember how we had to come into this clarity on our own. Nobody made us or coerced us or begged us to start this path, we made the decision ourselves. True, we may have enlisted help through coaching or books, etc. but only after we first made the decision to make the change. We have to remember that our friends and family members will have to come into their own on their own. We cannot make them see the light, just as nobody could make us see it. I am not saying we cannot talk to our loved ones about our new outlook on life, but we cannot force them to join us. We can only hope they support us on our journey and find their own way someday. We also have to accept that they may never choose on their own to live authentically. We cannot help that. It doesn’t make them wrong and us right. Criticism from either side will get you both nowhere and can hurt the relationship. What matters is that we accept and respect their life choices and hope they in turn accept and respect ours.

Why I Became a Life Coach

I am always telling that to other women who talk to me about "how I did it" (starting a business, writing a book, becoming a stay at home/work from home mom). So why did it take me so long to figure out that "this" was my actual passion. My niche. Empowering women (of all ages) to chase their dreams or just be comfortable with themselves or how to effectively communicate with loved ones or colleagues. Why on earth was I not doing that for a living? I cannot tell you how many times my phone has rang with a friend or relative on the other line asking for advice on some life changing event. What do I say on an interview? How do I ask for a raise? Am I crazy to start my own business?
I give women a chance to voice what's in their hearts without criticism or the emotions that someone closer to them may bring. A champion for their cause but also giving an objective analysis on how to go about the situation. I take a less clinical approach and use more of a “big sister” or “best girlfriend” style of coaching. My clients tend to open up more about their feelings about particular subjects that way and it also makes them better listeners.
Most of my clients are women going through a life change … becoming a new mother, coping with a career change, deciding to go back to work after a hiatus or child birth, deciding to branch out into their own businesses. My new niche is young women ages 16-25 dealing with teen and young adult issues… talking openly, honestly, and effectively to parents, preparing for college, preparing for life after college and/or entering the "real world".
I am far from perfect. I have my own coach (and a therapist) which I think give me even more of an edge. I am learning and growing with my clients. As they are discovering things about themselves and moving toward the path of enlightenment, I am making one step closer to my own personal goals and achievements. Doing this makes me happy. Knowing I helped someone realize and achieve a personal goal fills me up.